Quote of the Week 12/26/11

After yesterday's revelry and indulgence, I find today's quote rather appropriate in terms of my diet, which I absolutely did not adhere to yesterday.... I mean, hey, it's Christmas! You can't be on a diet on Christmas!! Alas, today is a new day, and I'm back on track, although I find myself living vicariously through the following quote by Jim Davis.

"Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
--Jim Davis

I hate Mondays.

Spaghetti Squash Primavera

So because I’ve convinced myself that I’m going to lose weight over the holiday season, rather than gain any (don’t you roll your eyes at me), I’ve been trying to find some healthy-ish versions of side dishes to serve at the Christmas dinner table so that I don’t gorge myself on stuffing and mashed potatoes. One that I found, that’s a bit more Mediterranean than what is typically found at American Christmas dinners, is spaghetti squash primavera. Typically “primavera” is italian, but add some feta cheese and ipso facto, it’s now Mediterranean.

It's all Greek to me!

1 spaghetti squash, halved lengthwise and seeded

2 tablespoon minced garlic.

2 tablespoons Italian seasoning

2 bay leaves

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 onion, chopped

1 tsp garlic, minced

2 cups chopped tomatoes

1 red pepper, chopped

3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a baking sheet or line the bottom of a baking sheet with non-stick aluminum foil (I prefer the latter method).

On one half of the baking sheet, place 1 tablespoon of garlic, 1 tablespoon of Italian seasonings, and 1 bay leaf. Repeat on the other half of the baking sheet.

Kind of like you're the street performer with the ball and the cups. 

Place one half of the spaghetti squash with the hollow side over one of the garlic mixtures, and repeat with the other half.

Add an even amount of water to the baking sheet, just enough to come up to the sides of the squash. The amount of water differs, depending on the size of your baking sheet. I used about 2 cups.

Bake 35 minutes in the preheated oven. It’s very important that you don’t overcook the squash. You can test if it’s done by flipping it over and scraping the flesh with a fork. It should naturally separate into spaghetti-like strands. Taste it to make sure that it is the same consistency as al dente spaghetti. It might need 5-10 more minutes in the oven if it is still too tough.

If you think squash is "mushy," you're doing it wrong.

Once it is finished cooking, remove from heat and allow it to cool.

While the squash is cooling, heat oil in a skillet over medium heat. Saute onion and red pepper in oil until tender. Add garlic, and saute for 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes, and cook until tomatoes are warm.

Use a large spoon or fork to scoop the stringy pulp from the squash, and add it to the sauté pan with the vegetables. Toss with the sauteed vegetables, feta cheese, and salt and pepper. Serve warm.

You know you want some.

Optionally: I added ¼ cup Parmesan cheese in addition to the feta, as well as 2 teaspoons of Italian seasonings right before I served it. I really like Parmesan cheese, this is a personal preference. You could also use a can of stewed tomatoes instead of fresh chopped tomatoes to make it more like spaghetti instead of like a primavera.

If I hadn't already told you this was squash, you'd never have known the difference.

Basically, I think you can take spaghetti squash and add anything you normally would to spaghetti noodles. I think it tastes pretty much the same, only it’s healthier for you since you’re using all vegetables instead of pasta. My next venture will be to try and make a reduced calorie alfredo sauce or cheese sauce to make a “healthified” macaroni and cheese/spaghetti alfredo dish. Stay tuned!

GET IN MY MOUTH.

Mexican Chocolate Cookies

So, for Santa this year, I decided to branch out from my usual Place-and-Bake-Sugar-Cookies-With-Holiday-Shapes for Santa and make something different. I figured Santa would probably appreciate a little variation.

Not this year, Pillsbury

After some searching online, I found a nifty looking recipe for a spicy chocolate cookie, which I used as a starting place to creating my own recipe. Since my mother has a self-diagnosed gluten allergy, I tried to keep the cookies gluten-free, but also still delicious. I think I succeeded, but I guess we'll have to wait and see how much Santa enjoyed them before I make a final judgement.

Santa's feeling a little spicy this year, ifyouknowwhatImean.

• 1 heaping 2/3 cup chocolate, coarsely chopped (I recommend dark chocolate, but if you only have milk chocolate on hand, that will work, too, just cut the sugar down by 1/4).
• 1/2 cup almond flour
• 1/4 cup coconut flour
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup dark brown sugar
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• non-stick aluminum foil

Preparation

• Preheat oven to 350°.
• Place chocolate in a microwave safe bowl; microwave at HIGH 1 minute or until almost melted, stirring until smooth. Cool to room temperature.
• Combine almond and coconut flour, cinnamon, baking powder, salt, black pepper and red pepper in a small bowl and whisk together.
• Combine sugar and butter in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended (about 3 minutes).
• Add egg to the sugar mixture and beat well.
• Add cooled chocolate and vanilla; beat just until blended.
• Add flour mixture; beat just until blended.
• Drop dough by level tablespoons 2 inches apart on baking sheets lined with non-stick foil (if you don't like non-stick foil, you can just spray the bottom of the pan with a non-stick spray).
• Bake at 350° for 10 minutes or until almost set. Remove from oven. Cool on pans 2 minutes and then transfer to a wire rack to finish cooking.
• Sprinkle the cookies with cinnamon sugar. I dusted them with a bit of red pepper, just to accentuate the spiciness.

Sugar, spice, and everything CHOCOLATE

Hoping everyone has a safe and satisfactory Christmas tomorrow! And to my non-Christmas-celebrating-friends, enjoy your regular, non-special Sunday!

Quote of the Week 12/19/11

Today's quote comes from "The Thin Man" himself, Mr. William Powell. I really like this quote. It's funny without being gimmicky. It speaks to reality, since I'm pretty sure this is how everyone feels every time they come to my house for a meal.

"Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table."
--William Powell

Badassery.

The Boll Weevil Cafe and Sweetery

This weekend, I travelled to Augusta, Georgia, to visit my dear friend Lauren "the salad eater" and her army of cats. We had a splendid time testing out the area's bars and restaurants, as well as exasperating their local police force (try and tell me my ID looks fake, see if I don't put up a fight. When a girl's gotta dance, A GIRL'S GOTTA DANCE!).

I pity the fool who prevents Lauren from gettin' her groove on.

After a fantastic night of Wobbling and singing onstage with cover bands, and a productive morning of worship (Lauren) and sleeping in (Sydney), the hunger pangs kicked in and we made our way to downtown Augusta for some lunch. Lauren recommended a restaurant near her office called The Boll Weevil (which makes more sense after you learn that the restaurant used to be a cotton warehouse). I was a little skeptical of the name (the word weevil doesn't exactly do it for me), but it was a cute little cafe and I was way too hungry to argue about semantics.

 Weevil. It's what's for dinner.

We sat in a little room with about 6 or so other tables, filled with families dressed in their Sunday best, while I stood out from the crowd in my shorts and tacky sweater (#noshame). Our waiter was funny and super attentive without being overbearing, which was refreshing. For lunch, I ordered the Curious George, which is turkey topped with spinach dip and provolone cheese on homemade honey wheat bread. It was pretty delicious. The turkey was thick cut, definitely fresh, and the toppings were not too heavy. It was perfect. I got the half version of the sandwich and their tomato apple soup, fire-roasted Fuji apples and carrots in a tomato soup. It was an interesting combination of sweet and savory and spicy. I liked it, which is impressive, because I usually don't care for tomato soups.

It's Mmmmm, good.... Also, I hate Campbell's.

Lauren decided to branch out and get the greasy double fried lard burger with extra carbs on the side. hahahahaha, oh wait, who am I kidding? Of course, she got soup and a salad. No branching out for Lala, no way. Specifically she got the greek salad and vegetable soup. That's right, she got veggies with her veggies. Oh, and how about a side of veggies? Yes. She'll have them. She'll have ALL THE VEGGIES IN THE WORLD!!  MUAHHAHAHAHA!!!

She needs to start going to meetings. She has a serious addiction.

Cute waiter also guilted Lauren into getting a piece of cake, apparently because they do cake specials on Sundays, so it was only like 5 dollars for a monstrous piece of cake. She had a hard time deciding which one she wanted to get because she was "SOOO FUULLLLL! I FEEL SO FAT!! I'M GONNA THROW UP IF I EAT ANYMORE" (from a salad... A SALAD). She narrowed it down 3 choices--strawberry, red velvet, and coffee toffee--and told the waiter to surprise her and put a piece in a to-go box. "It's like Christmas! I don't want to know what my presents are before I open them!" I'm not one to ruin Christmas, but...

It was the Coffee Toffee. Spoiler alert.

Summary: Get a sandwich and some soup. Unless you're addicted to salads like La. Also, cake is a meal in itself.

Turning the weevil into a cartoon does not make it any less gross.

The Boll Weevil Cafe and Sweetery
10 9th St, Augusta, GA 30901
(706) 722-7772 ‎

The World's Best Lasagna

So for my official “Night Before My Last Day Dinner Party” I decided to make lasagna for the coworkers I invited over to share in the feast. I had all of these people to impress so I knew I had to do something more than just thaw out a Stouffer’s lasagna (although Stouffer’s is delicious). So I found this recipe online HERE and tweaked it a bit to fit with what I had and how much time I had to do it in. Here is my tweaked recipe:

1 pound sweet Italian sausage (I used Johnsonville)
1 pound lean ground beef
1/2 cup minced onion
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 (28 ounce) can diced tomatoes
2 (6 ounce) cans tomato paste
2 (6.5 ounce) cans canned tomato sauce
2 tomatoes, sliced
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil leaves
1/2 teaspoon fennel seeds
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
6 tablespoons dried parsley
No-boil lasagna noodles (I used about 24)
32 ounces ricotta cheese
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 pound mozzarella cheese, shredded
12 slices provolone cheese
2 cups grated Parmesan cheese

Directions
In a large saute pan (one with high sides, you’re going to be adding a bunch of liquid to it), cook sausage, ground beef, onion, and garlic over medium heat until well browned. Stir in crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, tomato sauce, and water. Season with sugar, basil, fennel seeds, Italian seasoning, 1 tablespoon salt, pepper, and 4 tablespoons parsley. Simmer, covered, for about 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

Meat sauce done right.

In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese with eggs, remaining parsley, and 1/2 teaspoon salt.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
To assemble, spread 1 ladle full of meat sauce in the bottom of a 9×13 inch baking dish. Arrange noodles lengthwise over meat sauce. Spread with ricotta cheese mixture, and layer with sliced tomatoes. Top with sauce, and sprinkle with mozzarella and parmesan. I eyeballed this, so just use what feels right. I topped it with a bit more meat sauce and then stacked the noodles on top. Repeat layers.

Noodle meat. (that's what she said)

 Top with remaining mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. Add 6 slices of provolone and cover with foil. I used non-stick foil with the non-stick side down toward the cheese to keep the cheese from sticking. You could do the same basic thing by spraying aluminum foil with some Pam or other non-stick spray.

I'll have a side of cheese with my cheese, please. Also, noodle meat.

Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil, and bake an additional 25 minutes. Cool for 15 minutes before serving. I noticed that the cheese was browning a bit too much around the 19 minute mark, so I took it out a bit early.

Right after I took the foil off.

19 minutes later. aka perfection.

Needless to say, the lasagna was pretty ballin’. Everyone ate pretty much all of it. I made two casseroles full and only one little slice was left over. I laid out hors d’oeurves to accompany the lasagna, including buttery crescent rolls, meat balls and tomato sauce, and mini caprese salad bites (grape tomatoes, fresh mozzarella cheese, and fresh basil on a toothpick).

I seriously could eat ten thousand of these things. So. Good.

Les brought salad and we all drank wine to go with it. We laughed and talked for like 3 hours. Probably the most fun I’ve had in a really long time. Plus the lasagna was delicious. Then I made chocolate chip biscotti for dessert. It was pretty decadent.

Biscotti is italian for "Cookies from Heaven"

I’m pretty freaking awesome.

Quote of the Week 12/12/11

Waking up this morning was quite difficult thanks to the amazing time I had at the Aquarium Christmas Party last night (perhaps I had too much fun). It was also hard waking up, knowing that the end of my time at the aquarium is nigh. It’s sad really, because I feel like I just started to connect with the people I work with. We’d only just begun! Tomorrow night is my dinner party with the people I like from work (aka not Tiffany). I’ll be up late tonight slaving away over my lasagna. This whole situation is bittersweet. Therefore, today’s food quote is bittersweet as well. It comes from the French gastronome Anthelme Brillat-Savarin’s great aunt Pierette.

“I feel the end approaching. Quick, bring me my dessert, coffee and liqueur.”  

–Anthelme Brillat-Savarin’s great aunt Pierette

Couldn't find a picture of Great Aunt Pierette, so just picture Brillat-Savarin with a wig on.... Oh wait. He already has a wig on. Perfect.

Quote of the Week 12/5/11

Today’s quote really is only loosely related to food (and we’re talking Kim Kardashian “loose” here). I’m just really freaking excited that I FINALLY got to see The Muppets (which was amazing, beeteedubs). In honor of my joy and relief at finally seeing this cinematic masterpiece, I give you a quote from the Sovereign herself, Miss Piggy.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” 

–Miss Piggy

Also "Never eat more than you can lift"

Five Loaves

I have no idea how many times I’ve been to Five Loaves (or 5 Breads as Tina calls it). It’s Lauren’s favorite restaurant and one of my favorite casual lunch spots in Charleston, as well. It’s simple, good food. Nothing pretentious or over the top—soups, sandwiches, and salads. For dinner they offer heartier options such as pastas and meat dishes. Everything I’ve ever had there is delicious (except for the chicken salad on croissant... not my favorite). Their soups are homemade, creative, and just plain yummy. Lauren’s favorite is the broccoli, potato, cheddar which she couples with the half version of the tomato and mozzarella salad (although she always replaces the mozzarella with goat cheese, which is sacrilegious, in my opinion... She says "mozzarella doesn't taste like anything" MOZZARELLA HAS FLAVOR, LAUREN. IT'S MOZZARELLA FLAVORED. IT'S DELICIOUS. HAVE YOU NEVER HAD PIZZA BEFORE?!). I tend to stick to either the marinated chicken sandwich on baguette (which comes with the house-made mozzarella cheese, WHICH IS DELICIOUS, LAUREN) with a cup of the chicken chili.

Also, pickles are Satan's Cucumbers. The sandwich is superb, though. Satan-free Sandwich.

If they have a really good selection of soup that day and I have a hard time narrowing it down to just one, I opt for the 3 soup pours which allows me to sample three different soups. I strongly recommend this option if you are indecisive like me.

3 small soup pours. Ignore that silly sandwich photobombing this picture.

If you’re going for dinner, I recommend the tri-colored tortellini in the cracked black pepper parmesan cream sauce. It's amazing. I've also had the gnocchi, which is really good. I usually get it without the golden raisins, because I don’t really like wrinkly fruit, but if you’re into that thing, go for it (just keep in mind that you and I will probably never be friends). I usually eat half of it and take the other half home to eat for lunch the next day. The portion sizes are pretty big, so you definitely won’t leave feeling hungry.

Wrinkly fruit is for wrinkly people.

I’ve also gotten the chicken parmesan, which also comes with the house-made mozzarella cheese (PEOPLE LOVE MOZZARELLA CHEESE, LAUREN. IT’S NOT JUST ME. YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S CRAZY), but I don’t really love their tomato sauce that comes on the pasta. I find it kind of bland. The fried goat cheese appetizer is really good if you like goat cheese (which I do). I’ve also had some of their other appetizers. Becca usually gets the turkey sandwich with the cranberry mayo on whole wheat. Tina usually gets the same thing I get (which drives me crazy. I hate getting the same thing as other people at restaurants. I don’t know why. I just do).

Lauren: This is what delicious looks like. Take note. There will be a quiz later.

Anywho. I love Five Loaves. It’s a great place to eat if you’re not looking to eat something super heavy. I love it, and Becca—unless you’ve already picked a place before I get to R&A, I will always choose Five Loaves for our lunch dates. Just FYI. I'm so excited to go eat there tonight with Lauren for her birthday dinner before we go out celebrating. Only maybe she'll get something a little heavier so that we don't have a repeat of Halloweekend (HINTHINT NUDGENUDGE, LAUREN. EAT SOME FREAKING BREAD).

Also, they're closed on Sundays. Go figure.

Five Loaves Cafe
43 Cannon Street,
Charleston, SC 29403-6068
(843) 937-4303

Quote of the Week 11/28/11

Today’s food quote comes from actor Robert Redford, who pretty much states the obvious. Except I happen to disagree, because I don’t really care for Oreos (it’s un-American, I know).

“Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.” 

– Robert Redford

He looks a hell of a lot like Al Franken in this picture. Weird.

Quote of the Week 11/21/11

I think the quote of the day is especially applicable to the feast we are all about to participate in on Thursday. It comes from Oscar Wilde, irish writer and poet. I think some of us will agree.

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relatives.”  

-Oscar Wilde

"The Importance of Being Ground Chuck" the gory sequel

Quote of the Week 11/14/11

I’m still riding my high from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter this weekend with Becca. Therefore, I bring you this quote from the woman who wrote my childhood, JK Rowling. It doesn’t have anything to do with food in a direct sense, but you can totally apply it in a metaphorical sense, if you have imagination.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” 

–JK Rowling

I'm still waiting for my owl acceptance to Hogwarts. RAVENCLAW

Quote of the Week 11/7/11

Today’s quote comes from humorist and food writer Calvin Trillin. This quote strikes me as interesting because it’s so different from my upbringing. We didn’t really do leftovers (Tina is really weird about that stuff), so it’s interesting to me that there are families who subsist mostly on leftovers. Verrrrry interesting.

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” 

– Calvin Trillin

FACT: Leftovers cause male pattern baldness. (Disclaimer: I just made that fact up).

Quote of the Week 10/31/11

In honor of Halloween, I found this funny quote from comedienne Rita Rudner who says something I’ve often thought about: the horrible parenting in America.

“Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’ I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, ‘Trick or treat.’ ‘No thank you.’” 

–Rita Rudner

Is it just me or does she kind of look like ET with a wig on?

Early Bird Diner

I’ve been to Early Bird Diner a few times, and each time it’s been delicious. I feel like calling it a diner is a little bit misleading, as this food is far and beyond anything you’d find at a typical greasy spoon. One of their breakfast items is curried vegetables and eggs. Try and find curry on a menu at some roadside diner. You can’t. I’ve checked.

This is a curry-free establishment.

I usually get the Country Scramble which is eggs, sausage, cheese, and potatoes scrambled together and topped with sausage gravy. It’s amazing. It also comes with toast/biscuit and a choice of one of their sides, of which there are usually 10 plus options to choose from. I like their fruit salad, it’s very fresh, and a good mix of fruit; not just sad pieces of mushy cantaloupe like most places. I wouldn’t recommend the fried green tomatoes (which is rare, as I love fried green tomatoes); they just don’t really taste like anything. But that’s the only thing I have a problem with at Early Bird.

Oh, snap. I just saw the Mac and Cheese. I know what I'll be getting next time...

Last time I went with my dad, he ordered the fried chicken and waffles of the specials menu. The waffles come Belgian style, and they’re almost more savory than they are sweet, even with the maple syrup on top. They’re really good (and this is coming from a girl who doesn’t like Belgian waffles. So that’s really saying something).  The chicken is batter-dipped and fried and topped with their house-made honey mustard. The sweetness of the honey mustard paired with the sweetness of the waffles…I don’t know what it is, but it just works. It’s so good. They fried chicken alone is amazing. Tender, juicy, white meat chicken fried perfectly to perfection. The batter that they use is delicious as well. You should definitely give it a try if it’s on the menu.

Gladys Knight would be proud.

Also, they’re open til 4 am on Friday and Saturday nights, so, if you’re like me and you crave really good, higher quality food at 2 am on a Friday night after the bars close, you’re in luck! We actually went last night after a long night of celebrating. Geoff got a club of some sort and, although he didn’t say whether he liked it or not, there was nothing left on his plate by the time he was finished, which is always a good sign. La got the omelet, which she said was probably one of the best omelets she’s ever had. 

This omelet was eggcelent

Matty V ordered the pancakes. Only no one warned him that the pancakes are the size of dinner plates and they come out stacked three high. He was only able to eat maybe one of the pancakes before he threw in the towel. So a word of warning: Don’t order the pancakes unless you haven’t eaten in over 36 hours or you’re trying to feed your entire family on a budget. I think Adrian got a sandwich of some kind, but I don’t remember anything of his meal, except for the fact that it came with French fries. I remember that because I kept stealing some when he wasn’t looking. And they’re really good fries.

I’ve only ever been there for breakfast, so I can’t recommend anything off the dinner menu YET. But I’ve seen the dinner menu, and it looks delish, and Adrian assures me that it’s good.

In Communist Russia, food reviews you!

Summary: Breakfast is delicious. Avoid the fried green tomatoes. 

Early Bird Diner
1644 Savannah Highway
Charleston, SC 29407
(843) 277-2353

Quote of the Week 10/24/11

The first thing I did after finding today’s quote was laugh. Then I read it five more times to try and discern some kind of meaning out of it. I got nothing, other than “Alton Brown is insane.” Can someone please explain this to me?

“Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody’s going to get hurt.” 

– Alton Brown

I can officially add "Alton Brown" to the list of "Things That Keep Me Up At Night" ...right under Clowns and above The Rubber Suit guy from AHS

Hall's Chophouse

I first learned about Hall’s in my Seminar in Entrepreneurship class where they came to speak to us. I admire that it’s a family run business that is based mainly on quality of service and building and cultivating relationships with their customers. A lot of places talk a lot about customer service, but for many, it’s just that—talk. Hall’s actually delivers on its promises. They give you great service and great food. Seriously good food. I’ve said before that Husk is my favorite restaurant, but if I’m craving steak, there is not even a competition. Hall’s would win out every time. Literally the best steak I’ve ever eaten. And this is coming from a girl who doesn’t actually like steak. (Ditto salad. I’ll talk more about the chopped salad later, but trust me—it’s as close to divine as a salad will ever get). I’ve ordered steaks at other restaurants in Charleston before—Peninsula Grill, Husk, Red Drum, 82 Queen, and Grill 225—and there’s no comparison. I’ve not been to Oak yet, and I have a feeling I probably won’t go anytime soon, either. I just can’t imagine they’d be better than Hall’s.

They're better than you (at cooking steak), and they know it.

I’ve been to Hall’s for dinner twice. The first time was with my dad and Shay to spend the gift certificate they gave out to my class (that’s good marketing right there. I saved $25 but probably spent 3 times that on the meal for the three of us. And trust me, it was worth every penny). We started off with the she-crab soup which was really good. I hate it when restaurants add too much sherry to their she-crab soup, but Hall’s does it right. The dominant flavor is the crab, with only a hint of sherry—exactly how a good she-crab soup should be.

Does this qualify as pornography? I hope so.

I then got the Hall’s Chopped salad, which is Uh- May-Zing. I live for chopped salad. If more restaurants had them, I’d eat salad way more often, and if they all tasted like Hall’s, I’d actually enjoy eating them. It has lettuce and tomato and celery and black-eyed peas, peppers and bacon and a whole bunch of other stuff in a buttermilk dressing. But it’s perfectly balanced with the dressing. I hate it when my salad is drowning in salad dressing, but the Hall’s salad is perfect in every sense of the word. I’d say I’d go there just for the salad, but I know there’s no way I’d go there for food and not get a steak.

Try to touch my salad, and I will cut you.

Shay got the filet mignon, while my dad opted for the prime rib. This being my first time at Hall’s (not realizing how amazing their steaks are), I opted for the lobster. The lobster was about 4 pounds and it was taken out of the shell and arranged in the lobster shape when they serve it to you, so basically all you have to do is dip it in butter and shove it in your face (which I did approximately 3.5 seconds after they set it down). I do love me some lobstah. 

This is not a picture of the lobster from Hall's. I found this on Google so you would understand.

Shay offered me a bite of her filet (which she had butterflied and cooked to medium well) and as soon as it touched my tongue, I knew I’d ordered the wrong thing. Don’t get me wrong, the lobster is delicious, but it’s nothing compared to the filet. Did I mention it’s the best filet I’ve ever had? Because it’s the best filet I’ve ever had. The prime rib was top notch as well. I’m pretty sure none of us spoke after the entrées had been delivered; we were too busy enjoying the food to carry on a conversation.

I'm gonna eat you, sucka!

They serve their sides family style, meaning that one side serves 2-4 people. They’re pretty big. For sides we got the asparagus with hollandaise and the pepper jack grits. Now, as a southerner, I am particular about my grits. Quaker sells this instant crap that says “Grits” on it, but trust me—those are not grits. Hall’s serves real grits. Thick and creamy and delicious. Not cheesy enough so that you lose the flavor of the grits themselves, but just cheesy enough to make the dish feel complete. They are all about balance Hall’s. It just works perfectly. The asparagus is a side that you might have a harder time stretching out amongst four people. It is perfectly cooked. Not mushy like that crap that comes out of a can (which is the reason I thought I hated asparagus for the first 20 years of my life. Thanks mom). I usually don’t like hollandaise partly because I don’t really like eggs (see my Husk review for more info), but mostly because when I had to make it in class, I got a blister from whisking so much that took 2 weeks to heal. It was painful. Plus my hollandaise tasted terrible, so then I was mad that I got a blister making nasty crap that I didn’t even enjoy eating. Hollandaise is a douche bag. But the hollandaise from Hall’s is perfect. It tastes exactly how hollandaise should. Not too eggy, not too buttery, but creamy and perfect. It’s delicious, and a perfect complement to the asparagus.

This is what real grits look like.

The second time I went to Hall’s for dinner was for my mom’s birthday. It was my parents and me, and we went all out. We got spicy shrimp and tempura lobster as starters. I didn’t really care for the lobster, but my parents loved it. The spicy shrimp were pretty good, but I was expecting them to be boiled shrimp, like you’d find in a Creole or jambalaya, but they were just fried shrimp tossed in a spicy sauce. They were still good, I’d just had my heart set on non-fried shrimp. I once again got the chopped salad while Tina opted for the roasted beet salad (who orders things like that? Really, Tina? Really?). The chopped salad is better. I almost stabbed Tina for trying to steal a forkful of my salad. I don’t play around. For our entrées, I chose the filet (did I mention it’s the best filet I’ve ever had? I did? Ok, well I just want you to understand that it’s THE BEST FILET I’VE EVER HAD). You can get sauces on the side with your steak, like Gorgonzola sauce, or béarnaise, but trust me—you don’t need any sauce. The meat tastes amazing all on its own (that’s what she said!). I can’t remember what Tina and Russ got, because I was too focused on my own food to take the time to care about their choices. All I know is that there was meat, there was a lot of it, and we ate it all. Ron Swanson would be proud.

MEAT TORNADO

For sides this time, we got the asparagus again, and the macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese is one of my weaknesses. It’s the one thing I seem to be unable to resist. It’s my kryptonite. Even when I’m dieting, if there’s mac and cheese within reach, I won’t even hesitate. I just start devouring it without giving myself time to think about it. The mac and cheese at Hall’s is good. It’s not great, but it’s good. It’s more creamy than cheesy, and I prefer my mac and cheese to be extra cheesy. The waitress was raving about the mac and cheese (she loves it. It’s her favorite), so I guess it’s all a matter of personal preference. I do have to say that I'm a fan of the squiggly noodles. I'd just prefer more cheesy in the saucey pleasey! Next time, I’d just stick with the grits.

Macaroni skillets are what I dream about at night.

You may have noticed that I clarified both of my visits by saying “The first/second time I went for dinner.” This is because Hall’s has an amazing bar. Rather, they have one drink that I’m obsessed with called the 434 martini. It’s pineapple infused vodka that’s served ice cold and frothy. It’s not overly fruity, but it definitely tastes nothing like alcohol. Except for the fact that it’s straight alcohol. So you don’t realize how much alcohol you’ve actually had until you stand up to go to the bathroom after the 5^th one and you almost fall on your face (that’s actually a true story about my dad the night I graduated). The first time I had one was at a party hosted at Hall’s for my entrepreneurship class after our final exam. It was a 2 hour reception with free food and drinks courtesy of Tommy Baker (anytime there are free drinks involved, you can guarantee I’m going to make an appearance). I made Lily come with me and we started drinking martinis, excited for some free Hall’s food. We found out, about 3 martinis in, that the “free food” was actually a veggie tray. Don’t get me wrong, I love carrot sticks, but if I’d known that’s all the food I was going to be having, I would have eaten something hearty before I starting downing liquor. Needless to say, Lily and I had a great time.

Don't be fooled by how pretty it looks. Secretly, it's deadly. And delicious.

I took my mom and Jenn to Hall’s for drinks before we went to Pantheon for the drag show, and we sat at one of the community bar tables drinking and hanging out. One of the Hall family members, usually Billy or Tommy, came by a number of times to make sure we had everything we needed and that we were enjoying ourselves (we were). We stayed for about an hour, and we getting ready to head out to go across the street to O-Ku (they make these habanero-infused vodka martinis with sugared rims that my mother is obsessed with) when Tommy Hall stopped us to ask why we were leaving so soon. My mother, being my mother, told him “We’re going over to O-Ku to get sugar and spice martinis. They’re my favorite.” Tommy Hall replied “O-Ku is great, but did you know we actually invented those? Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll bring you one.” So we sat back down and he brought us a round on the house. Tina was skeptical that they would be as good as O-Ku’s, so she was quite surprised to find out that she actually liked these more. Apparently the ones that Hall’s makes are spicier. I don’t really do spicy. I took one sip and then had to chug a gallon of water to be able to feel my lips again.

It's easy to confuse this with the 434. But, you will know you made a mistake IMMEDIATELY after taking a sip.

I’ve literally never had a bad experience at Hall’s. Every time we leave, Billy is there to shake our hands, or give us a hug and thank us for coming. Once he even chased us down the street, to make sure he thanked us properly. The service continues, even when you’re not at the restaurant. They sent my mom a hand-written thank you note, telling her how much they appreciated her coming into the restaurant on her birthday. They even wished me a happy birthday on Facebook, even though I hadn’t been to Hall’s in over 2 months. They’re all about the relationships that they build with their customers. Pairing their outstanding customer service with their delectable food (did I mention the filet is the best I ever had??) and you have a recipe for an unforgettable night out.

Did I mention it's the best filet I've ever had?

Hall’s Chophouse
434 King Street
Charleston, SC 29403
(843) 727-0090